Lying Behavior

Here's a simple "law" about lying. People don't know what their behavior is when they lie. During a normal conversation, John might look in all directions, take relaxed breaths, make some facial expressions. The context of a normal conversation is just that - normal conversation.

But, when John is lying, the context changes to abnormal conversation. Here are a few of the differences:

His eyes will focus into a narrow range of movement - if they move at all. A year or so ago, Idaho Senator Larry Craig was interviewed on TV in an attempt to persuade people of his innocence. It didn't work because his behavior during the interview was so practiced and forced.

His breathing will speed up, as though he's jogging. That's because he's getting excited. He's found himself trapped in a corner. His fight/flight bell is ringing off the wall.

His facial expressions will become stiff and his eyes are likely to get wide.

That's for most people - most honest people. We just don't have lying skills. But, a lot of people do. They are masters at lying and manipulating. If you have to deal with someone like that, don't worry about catching them in a lie. They're probably too practiced to make stupid mistakes. So, your strategy would be to avoid pathological liars, or get away from them when you discover their need to lie. Dealing with a liar is a no-win situation for you. This is true if we're talking about your boyfriend, wife, co-worker or boss. You will always get burned if you deal with liars.

-- Michael